How often we wish we could get a fresh start in life. We recognize that we've made some mistakes, and the past weighs heavily on our mind. We wish we could take back some cruel words, spend more time with someone, or be more forgiving this time.
Each day we try to start afresh but we get upset, and the upset brings back all the negativity. We struggle with memories and emotions and try harder, but we end up frustrated and making things worse by resenting ourselves. The only thing that brings temporary relief is symptom removal, but it does not solve our pain or restore our dignity and self-sovereignty.
I understand, and I also know what you need.
To start again, you need two things:
First you need a way of living and moving and having your being that is calm and not willful. And more importantly a way of speaking and acting gracefully with wisdom and common sense. One where reason leads instead of emotion.
One where intuition is your guide and purposeful patience is your energy to move rather than torment from within or pressures from the outside. One where you are a friend of conscience.
Perhaps now you see what else is needed.
You need a way of dealing with the traumas, baggage, and memories of the past. Mostly those memories are of failure: where we somehow failed, or where we were hasty, impetuous, angry, excited, greedy, prideful or selfish. We moved without wisdom and were tempted away from reason. We became resentful and said or did the wrong thing. We doubted ourselves and lost faith in goodness. We blamed others when we were out of control. But then we turned around and were impatient with others.
Our problems often began when we were kids and we responded to tease and cruelty with anger and resentment. We could not help become upset. After all, we were supposed to be protected from trauma, not exposed to it. Now you must learn how to revisit those unhappy memories graced with patience and understanding.
But before you can have patience and understanding, you must learn how to separate from the negative thoughts and emotions in which you are currently immersed. That is what the meditation helps you to do.